On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
