if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
