You work out of a Hotel?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize