We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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