its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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