i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I have feelings that need drinking.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
