I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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