You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
