Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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