So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think your dad took our porno
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
