he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
