i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
