it's like heaven, but drunker
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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