Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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