you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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