So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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