i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
