I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
