i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
