I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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