Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
