never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
