I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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