I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
