nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
