Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
