Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
