in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
