left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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