Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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