We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
