i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The best revenge is premature balding
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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