Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
