Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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