youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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