Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
