i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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