Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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