Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
