I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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