she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
