you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Randomize
