i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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