So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
