69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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