oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
