Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
