i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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