Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
