i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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