How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
