I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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