C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
